2.22.2014

blooming daises


There was a simplicity about it: moving in and out as the tide, becoming one with the beautiful world that gave you somewhere warm to sleep at night. She was never alone, for she knew at all times that the universe was inside of her. Hearts are wild creatures, they always said. That's why they're trapped inside cages.

Everything in his being craved spring. He longed for the potent smell of freshly bloomed daises mixed with the light buzz from a long overdose of sunshine. She was his light, and he held her closer than she held him. He knew he was in too deep - he was always in too deep - but continued to love her whole-heartedly, fully, like she deserved to be love. Some nights she got so broken that she resented him for being whole.

Hands touching, hearts beating. It was the perfect recipe for an endless love. But she was swift like a gypsy, and as much as he honored her, she honored the universe. Incapable of loving another human being, she was too much of a dreamer to ever reciprocate feelings. Star child, alien lover. She belonged to something greater. It wasn't until she said goodbye when he realized she'd already given her heart away, a long time ago.



2.09.2014

blank page


Falling in and out of love with the act of creation. Somewhere between ripped pages and chalk dust-covered hands, I realized the only thing I could do in that moment was observe. I heard once that the cure to writer's block is mushrooms, but I decided to take a walk instead. 

In the summertime, we used to climb this old building that overlooked all twelve blocks of our part of the neighborhood. You could stand up there and watch the sun rise or set. Drunk or sober, you still felt the same magic every visit, like the world is ripe and ready and yours for the taking. 

He'll tell me how his day was, or brief stories of childhood memories, or talk about a place we should try next time for dinner - and usually I'm listening. But there are times when I'm mesmerized by the way his jaw line is straight like an arrow or how his lips remind me of strawberries from the farmer's market on a hot July morning. I want to take a picture, I want to paint him. Instead, I keep listening, tucking this moment into the back pocket of my mind to remember at times when I'm looking for beauty.

I don't know where this obsession for scaling came from, but by the end of the summer, we were climbing buildings, bridges, you name it - anything with enough height to make us feel like we could still do great things. You're up there, and you can look down and see exactly where you belong. 

There are memories and feelings and stories inside of me that I can't quite figure out how to communicate. Blank pages, untouched clay, new film strip. I guess it all starts now. 



1.19.2014

light of my life, fire of my loins


Light of my life, fire of my loins. If people were colors, he'd be pure gold. Little Lolita, all mine. We had the kind of love that burrowed deep into your bones, capturing and captivating ever living fiber of my body. He was in my veins. I was always the type to sympathize with other people's heartache. I didn't know it could happen to me. 

He doesn't want me, he just wants my attention. Sometimes I wish my heart was enough. But he always wanted more. That's the thing about power: it leaves no room for intimacy. Every part of him was fierce and confident and strong. He'd never cave in. There were moments when I thought he was falling in love with me, but it wasn't enough to make him stay. Nothing would ever be enough. 

I was in love with him, and he was in love with his dreams. It's the kind of goodbye that you never want to say, but it slips your lips nonetheless because it's the right thing to do. Maybe one day we'll go back to those days, when he'd read me books and I'd lay on his chest, marveling at how perfectly happy I was in that very moment. 

1.06.2014

bad religion



Don't you ever put your happiness into someone else's hands, they said. They'll drop it. They'll drop it every time. I knew you'd be no different but I took the chance, anyways. Ain't nothing wrong with a little fun, even if it breaks a heart or two. We never spoke about what was going on between us, but there was a magnetic spark in the air every time we were about to touch. I never doubted it, I felt it in my bones. Skinny love, they call it. Two people who know exactly what they want but are just too damn proud to say it. 

There's something about the chase. Even with his arms around mine, we never really had each other. It's a mutual check-in and check-out as you please. It keeps you on your toes, on your seat, never really feeling like you'll ever have to settle. For a gypsy like me, that was the drive behind it all. For the first time in my life, I never got bored. 

It's a bad religion, to be in love with someone who could never love you. Sometimes I catch myself staying up late, thinking about what we could have been. And you know what they always say. If you're awake at 4 AM, you're either in love or lonely. I don't know which one is worse. 

12.30.2013

instagramania



can't even remember where this year has gone!
between school, traveling, and keeping up with my latest project, I've been a busy bee! just wanted to give you all an update via my life addiction, Instagram. it's been a while since I've posted, but I've been occupied in the fall between visiting universities in New York City and traveling to Trinidad for One Day Water Project. now, I'm in Toronto, spending a lovely christmas break with my beloved family and cousins. lots of shopping has been done, so expect posts soon! 
xx, m


11.08.2013

one day water project



I'm so excited to finally share what I've been working on for a while, which is a non-profit organization I founded earlier this year called One Day Water Project. Our organization's mission is to provide water-sanitation units to schools all over the world, providing students with unlimited access to clean, safe drinking water within their own schools - a luxury that many students in this world don't have. I've been lucky enough to travel to Trinidad & Tobago this week with the wonderfully talented and gifted film production team Triadic Productions who are working with One Day Water Project to document a video. This way, people online will be able to see how wonderful and bright each and every student we're helping truly is.

With two schools already sponsored by One Day Water Project, we're optimistic that we can turn our initiative into a worldwide movement and expand our efforts to schools around the world, not just in Trinidad. If you're interested in donating, visit our website here. A final video will be produced in about three weeks or so and posted on our site. And if you're interested in following our journey, please follow our twitter or like our Facebook page. If you support what our organization is for, tell a friend or two! I appreciate the initial support we've received from the online community and I am grateful that so many people are willing to contribute to such a great cause.

I'll keep you posted!

10.18.2013

the new icons


The one thing I love about this blistery fall weather is the never-ending combination of different layers you can wear -- just to stay warm! I'm such a fan of mixing textures, especially tweed and fur. There's a certain sophistication with a blazer that pulls an outfit together. I was lucky enough to find one with embellished studs, giving the piece a way more tough feel to any feminine outfit. A blazer/white tee/black jean combination is definitely a simple favorite to add to my fall staples.

blazer / ASOS
jeans / old navy
t-shirt / H&M
shoes / Nordstrom
bag / Hermes
sunglasses / rayban
scarf / target