in + out of control

     We didn't stop for a month. We drifted from the bar to the club to the house to the city streets and back to the bar again. Life was documented with a Nikon camera, 23 rolls of film, and my own hazy memory. We tore through the city streets, lighting them on fire with our energy. Life itself was on high, cranked up to it's full potential.
     I never knew what it was like to live without a break, but I got a healthy serving of it here. Our nights became our daytimes, and in the daytime, we didn't sleep. We only listened to French records and "Suicide" by The Raveonettes.
     It was a very nocturnal stage for me, I never once slept in my own bed during my whole trip. I wore everything with my black thigh-highs, I didn't go out without smokey eyes. We took youth and grabbed it by the horns, throwing it to the ground, and dominating it with our newfound confidence. The city did that to you, gave you a boost. A palpable energy flew around the air always, just like the smell of cigarettes and coffee.
     We lived by our subconscious, which drove us to walk down to the convenience store at three in the morning and buy balloons, Arizona Iced Tea, and a pack of Newport's. I didn't take off my RayBans and I always traveled with a pocket knife.
     Life was out of tilt, but I was perfectly balanced. The universe chewed us up and spit us out, you'd have thought we'd gotten the message by now. But it was summer, and summer itself is a beautiful thing, a time of the year to live with no regrets, give it all and take it in.
     This was an ode to summer, an ode to youth. An ode to being young and beautiful, and even though we couldn't pay our rent, we were still the hottest people in the apartment building.
I begged for one more chance. I promised I wouldn't let you down.


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