talk is cheap

It was never about the money. 

We were just dumb kids, trying to figure out what to do with our lives. I fell in love with my sadness because depression was better than boredom. Countless medicines for the minds, but my psychologist never did figure me out. I guess I was just another trust fund baby who never learned how to love. 

I had everything I ever wanted, except him. Born with looks, bread with class, living easy, I guess I just wanted to risk it all; just to see what it was like to lose control. That's what attracted me to him: it wasn't about love, it was about how excitingly unstable it was. A whole aspect of life built on the most fragile of foundations. 

I played with fire and I got burned, but I never did quite learn my lesson. The pain was unbearable but so beautiful at the same time. What a strange concept it was: you lose it all; and afterwards, all you want to do is find someone else to give everything to so you can lose it again. The thirst never stops, never settles. It leads you through the night to a river run dry. 

We were just dumb kids, breaking each other's hearts just so we knew we could still feel something.