I pretended to feel alive over formal dinners and afternoon tea, but I wasn't good at faking it. Tired; and no matter how much sleep I got, I never really felt awake. Days were being wasted by living day to day waiting for things to change. I woke my stableboy in the middle of the night and told him to keep driving until we reached the ocean.
"But you're so happy," they always said, "you've got so much to be happy about." But I was someone who would rather charm my way across the Khyber Pass than discuss the sums in my trust fund. I was a liability, a risk to have at every social event. They told me I didn't have a filter and I told them they didn't have any fun.
I guess that's the thing about being fearless: everybody's scared of you. There's nothing more frightening than a reckless soul with nothing to lose. Rules don't apply, boundaries don't exist. It's just the road, beaten or untouched, that you've got to your name.
He stopped the car in the middle of nowhere to my request. We got out, and I think he thought that I was going to leave. I ran into the wide open space just because I could. And when I screamed with laughter, no one told me to stop.
"If they could only see you now," he said.