He haunts me.

I see him in the way I dot my i's. I see him in the places we used to go. He is everywhere, inside and out. I can't shake him, and maybe I don't want to.

Nostalgia for the past, nostalgia for something warmer. I always get in too deep, I'm always the one whose hand folds first. Pokerface, I never hesitate to gamble. I'm always the one with so much to lose.

I guess that's the thing about a great love -- it changes you. I love different, I listen different, I see different. We were so young and you were so handsome and I was so lucky and it was bound to fall apart. We had no concept of balance. For us, it was all or nothing.

I thought that I could change you, like I changed the others. The burn of the backfire is always the hottest.

I met my match; checkmate.

I loved you just a little too much, 
you know I love the thrill of the rush


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